Like many young people after graduation, I was on the hunt for a J-O-B, a regular 9am-5pm, with benefits, get to wear fancy clothes to work, and 'life path' meant being attached to a Blackberry Phone. And like many young people, the pressing question on my mind was, "What's the Next Step?" or "I graduated...Now What?" Like many students, I debated back and forth between graduate school, law school, job hunting, massive student loans, and took the GRE and LSAT multiple times.
Eventually, I was accepted into a law program called TAP, Trial Admission Program. I was incredibly excited and incredibly nervous. I worked my butt off. Before the week of final exams, I began seeing butterflies...everywhere. At first I thought that it was because of summer and the heat, however I then began to see them on my car, drawn on the sidewalk as I stepped out in the morning, on people's clothes, etc. I recognized the sign, or so I thought. Butterfly stands for Transformation. Hibernating in the Cocoon and when ready, bursting forth into ones full abilities. I thought Great! Butterflies! I'm passing my final exams! Regardless,I studied my butt off for final exams. I left each exam feeling like I did my best, although they were hard.
I received the news in July, that I did not receive the qualifying GPA to attend the law school in the Fall. I was pretty devastated. I thought all the signs were there, that this was the Transformation. The months of July till September, we're tough. I was out of work and basically felt like a waste of space. I was bitter and depressed. I felt like I had been cheated by my university and I also felt that I was owed a job. I went to college didn't I? Wasn't I guaranteed a job? Needless, to say Ego loves to throw pity parties! During this time also, things surfaced, "my stuff". As my mentor Kym said, "Everybody has stuff." Well, lets just say I willingly chose to take my time to clear this stuff. In the words of Kym McBride, "Cleared a lot of Crap" from July till September!
In retrospect, this was the Transformation! Preparing me for the other plans the Universe had for me....
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