Past Lives And The Stars: Yes They're Crossed!

A lot of people have asked me what is the value of a horoscope? Couldn't these things just be general "things" that apply to anyone? And is that stuff even real? Or, somethings are true but somethings just don't sound like me at all, Or I can determine my own fate! I don't need the stars to determine who I am! While all of these statements are valid and true..

First, most of the time the horoscope you are most familiar IS  just your sun sign by itself, and people ARE correct, your sun-sign alone cannot encapsulate your entire personality! An astrological chart won't tell you what to do, but it may point out the patterns and tendencies you partake in regularly that are either beneficial or not so beneficial for you.

For example, previous to having my chart done I never understood that although I'm an Aquarius by Sun-Sign which is often seen as a free-spirited and independent sign, when it came to romance I tended to partner very easily and feel like a completely different person in relationships- I often  thought maybe their is something wrong with me, or do I hold some codependent tendencies? Why do I turn into a huge sap?

Well, my questions we're answered when I had my chart interpreted. After analyzing my chart, Joan found that my Venus was in Pisces.  Venus rules romantic relationships and also interpersonal connections. So basically I'm a super aloof air sign with a super emotional and feeling sign when in love- quite contrary to my aloof and independent Aquarian mannerisms! Talk about feeling like two different people!

Astrological Charts can be complex with all the planets, conjunctions, angles, and other stuff that just makes my mind twirl and eyes cross- which is why the universe put me in the path of my good friend and colleague  Joan Porte.  Joan Porte is a karmic astrologer. Although she can interpret your chart for romance compatibility and just for YOU in general. She is also able to tell from your chart where your soul is coming from and where your soul's journey is going for this lifetime. Joan simply analyzes your South Node and North Node. Joan was kind enough to provide a first-hand look at karmic astrology and how it works! 

Personal Testimonial: I know for fact that I left from my chart interpretation feeling more reassured of who I am and what my soul was meant to do for this lifetime! Also I learned always listen to your astrologer in regards to romance!

Also astrological charts make great holiday gifts! 

By Joan Porte 

South Node

As an evolutionary astrologer, the first thing I look for when I start a chart interpretation is the nodal axis. This is the line between the North and the South Nodes. These nodes are actually invisible markings on the Moon where the orbit of the Moon crosses the ecliptic, the path of the planets around the Sun and the Sun’s path on the celestial sphere. I know that can be confusing, but do you remember when you learned about the Earth’s axis in grade school? The Earth rotates around the Sun on that invisible line. Well, the Moon’s nodes are a similar axis. However, for those of us born on Earth, those nodes pack a wealth of knowledge about our past lives and where our soul is looking to progress in this lifetime.

The South Node indicates our karmic past, the influences from those past lives playing out in this lifetime. We will see natural tendencies – things that come easily – in the South Node but also “karmic addictions.”

The North Node indicates where the universe is pushing us to move…where we should be going in this lifetime. Nothing tells me more about someone’s personality, their roadblocks and their karmic gifts then interpreting the Nodes, the rulers of those Nodes and aspects they make to other planets.

When President Obama launched his presidential bid on a freezing February morning at the Old State Capitol Springfield, Illinois where Lincoln delivered the famous “house divided against itself speech” was he just employing brilliant political stagecraft or was he subconsciously harking back to his own “mystic cords of memory?” It was a bit of both. I was always intrigued with the idea that Obama was the reincarnated soul of Abraham Lincoln. What better way to finish his work so terribly cut short then by becoming the first African American President?

It is of interest that both Lincoln and Barack Obama came to national awareness from a political base in Illinois. (Although Obama achieved something Lincoln never could, that is, win a seat in the United States Senate. Lincoln tried for the Senate and was defeated twice. He came to the White House after serving just one term in the U.S. House of Representatives to a chorus of his opponents foretelling the dire consequences of having a novice at the helm at such a dangerous time.) The fact that one transformational speech propelled each to prominence, Obama at the 2004 Democratic Convention, Lincoln at the 1860 Young Men’s Republican Union at Cooper Union Hall is also informative. However, evolutionary Astrology relies on more than just “coincidences” between two figures. Without strong correlations between their charts, without a soul connection, we have nothing more than a list of interesting factoids. #. The proof must be in the stars and their birth charts.

Abraham Lincoln was born on a stormy Sunday morning, February 12, 1809 in Hodgenville, Kentucky around 2:00 AM.  President Obama was born in Honolulu on August 4, 1961 at 7:24 PM (see charts below.)

President Obama’s South Node would need to correlate to Lincoln’s life force with either his Sun or rising sign energy. It does not disappoint. His South Node is in Aquarius in the first house. Abraham Lincoln born on Feb 12 had his Sun in Aquarius. Therefore, his South Node – Barack’s immediate past life force was in Aquarius – correlating exactly to Lincoln’s Sun energy. He was in his immediate past life a person who was born under the Sun sign of Aquarius. That is two direct connections to Abraham Lincoln. Adding an extra connection is it’s placement in the first house. The first house is what has the most influence on our personality- it shows how we project in the world. Someone with a strong first house is someone with a unique personality. Well he has been dead for over 150 years and everyone still knows who Lincoln was. I would say that is pretty darn unique!

Can we reverse the process and look at Lincoln’s North Node to find another correlation with President Obama? We can and it too works. Lincoln’s North Node is in Scorpio, and on President Obama's chart, Scorpio "opens" the 10th house - the house of government and authority figures. Lincoln’s soul was progressing toward a Scorpio experience. Lincoln’s North Node was in the 11th house – the house dealing with cultivating unique and revolutionary group activities in the social and political arenas. It is safe to say that his soul using the Obama existence is getting to know what is like to move people in a revolutionary group force to change government. He held the Union together now he wants to continue by bringing much needed change to the way it operates.

Just as President Lincoln had a very strong third house – the house of mental ability and communication, President Obama has a powerful conjunction of Vesta, Ceres and the Moon there. This placement signifies the ability to dedicate the self to nurturing people through his ability to express himself emotionally.

These factors when added to the similarities and coincidences joining each man’s life, including the early loss of a Mother and distance from a father, spell out a soul connection. President Obama has Saturn in the 12th house as did Lincoln but its conjunction with expansive optimistic Jupiter mitigates its more negative aspects. He also shares Mars in the eighth with Lincoln, which does not make me happy. However, it is in a less volatile sign of Virgo and there is no negative interception with Uranus.

It is amusing to see that this time around Obama got a Harvard education. It was one of Abraham Lincoln’s great shames that he had a backwoods education so much, so that he forced his eldest son Robert, to go to Harvard and Harvard Law School, although he did not finish the latter. One of the many battles Robert had with his parents was over there constant pressure to get the education not available to them. Barack made it to Harvard Law School and became the first African American President of the “Harvard Law Review.”

Their North and South nodes correlate perfectly. Barack Obama has the karmic benefit of the education Lincoln craved and an even stronger communication house in an incarnation at the time of mass and instant media. He also thankfully has Venus, the archetype of the ancient goddess of love and beauty in the5th house in Moon Child a much less ominous placement than Lincoln’s warrior god of Mars. It is no wonder Barack Obama dreamed of being President when he was in kindergarten. He was cannot wait to get back to work.

Joan Porte is an evolutionary astrologer and author of “Signs of the Tines: The Ultimate Astrological Cookbook.”  To learn how your past lives influences your current journey and discover how to fulfill your soul’s desire now visit her website, joanporte.com!   Let Joan be your Astrological GPS – you should always know where you are going in life!

 “Signs of the Tines” is available at www.signsofthetines.com and Amazon.

Copyright Joan Porte 2014

Ride Your Own Bicycle Today!

Often times clients have mentioned to me one toxic person in their life, or even several- be it a coworker, a previous romantic partner/spouse, or even a family member, or even several family members.Often times I hear "I just don't know what to do" Or, "Why did they do this or do that?" What was the purpose?

For these toxic relationships, my guides showed me a very distinctive  image: A tandem bike in the mud- you and the individual are riding the tandem bike, however the bike is stuck in mud. You as the passenger may be aware as to why the bike is in the mud or you may not. Regardless the toxic individual leading is getting most of the muck up in their face, and you're getting any of the residues that aren't hitting them. The person in front is confused, can't see, and as a result lacks general direction, and you being on the back seat, are just on for the ride. And to make things worst the faster you both pedal to get out of the mud, the deeper the bike sinks into the mud. Each of you go nowhere.stuck.

You think ok, I can go back, get a rope and pull them out, or even better  I will help them push their bike out of the mud- the solutions to help reach out and help this person zing through your mind. However the only issue that is left standing is How the hell did they end up in the mud in the first place? How come this individual steered you guys off the path the first time? Why did we even use a tandem bike?  Maybe they shouldn't be leading the way after all? So then you think, well I'll lead the bike! They can ride the back seat! Or even better we won't ride a tandem bike!
So you approach the person and say, "Hey, I'll take the lead and  I'm pretty sure I can get us another bike."

Several Things happen: 1)You lead, yet you still have to question Why this individual couldn't lead the way? Breeding an eventual distrust and questioning 2) They get their own bike but can't keep up with you so eventually they'll insist on the tandem bike.
3)You bring them a bike, yet they insist on still wanting to ride the original tandem bicycle AND lead the way. 4) They give some reason as to why the tandem bicycle makes more sense. 5) You realize no solution is going to be good enough and you're back to square one- them in the lead on a tandem bike eventually back in the mud. A never ending exhausting cycle. The mud is the person's own issues and they are the only ones who can get themselves out.

This is how my guides have portrayed to me the cycle of toxic relationships.   Eventually, when you become tired of going around and around and around literally or figurativley spinning your wheels on someone elses issues in mud going absolutely nowhere - you simply get off the bike-  You just "know"that riding this tandem bike is really shitty- the cycle is broken. Almost. 

 And I say almost because it dawned upon even in my own personal life I've spun my little hamster wheel of a mind even after getting off the tandem bicycle Actually its amazing how much mind power one uses to question with Why? What's the purpose of this person's toxic behavior? Sure, I eventually find some learning life lesson value in it, but I'm human and just want to know the heck WHY? But then you spend so much circling in your own mind Why, why, why, why, why? And you waste time not finding your own new improved bicycle.

After much discussion with friends, family, and clients and deep introspection- I realized that  we as humans desire to know the Why- and the WHY is truly translates to the intention.   
                       What was the intention behind the person and/or the actions? 

To speak my truth and speak it clearly, you probably will never really know the their true intention.  You can literally expend more energy (if only these translated into calories)  than necessary and spin your wheels wondering Why- and you get the same place you started- NOWHERE.And this occurs for several reasons 1) Most important You  will never BE them  AND ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO FIGURE IT OUT  2) Often times the toxic individuals themselves rarely know their own intentions, they have no idea how they ended up in the mud- usually due to a lack of purpose and direction. 3) Or even if they claim to know, their true intentions usually are even more deeply rooted than they realize- and they have yet to draw awareness to the root of the issue, or have yet to explore the root in order to heal.

And more importantly for myself, I couldn't expend anymore energy as to how the bicycle got stuck in the first place- I've come to understand that often times the letting go isn't just the letting go of the stuff, the individual, or the material stuff but also the the WHY OF YOUR OWN MIND. 

By releasing and letting go of our own theorizing and Why-ing- we begin to move ahead even faster. Not only are you able get off the back seat of the toxic person AND the constant questioning (the more time you spend questioning, you waste time finding your own new cool bicycle) find your own bicycle, reorient yourself back to the main strip of pavement, and forge ahead, faster, light, with more purpose and more direction. All. On. Your. Own. 

P.S.  If they catch up to you on their OWN bicycle this is a good thing as they'll have figured out how to stay out of the mud! Till then forge ahead! 

Healing the Human Heart: The Epidemic of Spiritual Rationalizing

I once read a blog about a year from a lovely yoga teacher friend of mine. And in it she mentioned the concept of "Spiritual Rationalization"- the idea where there is some karmic learning lesson behind a situation or person, and by discovering this (or psycho-analyzing it till its dead and can't move) you think its supposed to make everything better, or at least make you feel better. But it doesn't make you feel better because you are still human.
You and I are spiritual beings in a HUMAN experience and body. So yes while the "Spirit" side of us understands all of the in/outs of karmic relations, balancing, what we still are is Human Beings who FEEL.
So when we have loss in our lives or struggles we may naturally feel anger, frustration, sadness, or hopeless. We may lash out and say hurtful things, vent on social media, throw things out the door, and maybe even engage in revenge like actions such as steal someones parking spot when we are aware they park there on the regular just to irritate them (Guilty as charged on all accounts)!

I'm here to tell you that FEELING is okay. You are allowed to FEEL what you do. Last time I checked we we're all HUMAN. No matter if you are the hurt one or the hurter, you are entitled to feel sad, and allowed to take the time to be sad!

For example, I was quite recenly in a romantic relationship which I knew was karmic. I 'knew' on a soul level we we're not meant to 'be'. Probably in a past-life we we're husband and wife (which is very common by the way) Intuitivley I knew. After a certain period of time, in my gut, truly I 'knew', he was for Now, but not IT.
 BUT Like any human being I have free-will. And No amount of karmic contracts/lessons can change human free-will. However, human free-will can change karmic lessons/contracts!!  I got exactly what I wanted, this individual, with all their baggage. Baggage that negatively effected me as well as him.

 However, on a human level I soooooo wanted it to "work out". I wanted this to be IT!  I was willing to force it to make it "work"- square peg round hole kind of scenario. I chose to ignore my intuition, my gut feelings, and even my close intuitive family and friends. All signs pointed "OUT" not "IN" for this romantic relationship, but I made a CHOICE... 
ignore my intuition 
make it work 
and what I CHOSE, came with series of events to follow that I felt almost broke my heart in two. (But I am and always will be a McDonough Woman, and we're very good at survival and don't enjoy jonesing around with time-wasters).

 Now naturally I also think- I can only blame myself. I chose to take a risk and make a choice.
I was angry at myself for not trusting what I already 'knew'. However, my human self felt hurt, angry, frustrated and questioning, despite all the psycho-analzying karmic-angelic signs of the universe hooplah, I need to let my human self be human!



                          So I'm letting people know you're allowed to feel angry and hurt. 
                                                     You're allowed to be human.

                                        Coping Tips For Humans & Earthworkers

*Write A Letter to the person, or even pet who is gone. Write a letter of appreciation, anger, or even sadness. Just put it all on paper.In the meantime,store them in a private place where you can read them, or write another.  Sometimes it can be years before you're ready to do this, maybe just days. One day when you're ready to release just gently burn them (in a safe way! not crazy pyromaniac way) and either forgive, or let go, to open yourself to a new chapter.

* Clean-Up Your Social Media- Yes clean it up. Delete it if you have to. Keep your power to yourself, you'll hear faster listening to your own heart's healing vibration. Keep it positive, put a pretty picture of yourself, a rainbow, something other than you flicking off the world (because although that may be how you feel, its just not *sigh* not nice, tried and true!) My good friend called me out on this and to paraphrase, "Meredith, stop being a b*tch and take your post(s) down." Dammit friend you're right. (On 11/13/14 Meredith McD. admitted to being wrong about something. Take note.smile).

* Flower Essences- Flower Essences of Missiones from Argentina are an excellent supplement to help you work through emotionally difficult times. Bach flower remedies are also recommended. I myself have used them for anxiety as well as processing Grief and have seen a night/day difference.

* Rediscover Your True Self- Often times we get caught up in being a caregiver or romantic partner we stop doing the things that bring us Joy. Rediscover what you love! Whether that be walking, hiking, working out, cooking special dishes, coffee with friends, stalking cats in your neighborhood, fostering a pet, coloring, or playing in dirt- REDISCOVER YOU. THIS IS THE FUNNEST PART!!!

*Listen/Read to Inspirational Radio- hearing the same love songs over and over again may trigger unwanted feelings. Pop a cd of your favorite book, or inspirational speakers like Jack Canfield or Dr. Wayne Dwyer, or The Secret.

* Vocalize in the Car- Many people feel uncomfortable doing this, but it works really well! I call it primal scream therapy in the car, I wouldn't suggest doing in in rush hour. Or you can just talk out stuff to yourself in the car, yes you are talking to yourself, but it keeps your throat chakra squeeky clean!! Water suggested for this one.

*Have An Album For Your Emotions- Music is wonderful way to help us feel. Sometimes in the initial shock of something you may not really know what to feel, you just know you feel like shit.  You can compile a list of angry songs, sad songs, loss songs, just songs and spend an hour or less, letting those songs evoke emotions. It actually helps bring out emotions and process them more thoroughly. Not recommended while drinking. And if you're going to cry heavily, stay home, or some other safe-place. One day you'll look back on these song sand laugh (trust me you will!)

*Sage, Sage and Sage again- you can read my blog about clearing residual energies from a few months back to learn more about Saging.

* Punch a Pillow- As much as you may want to physically assault this person for acting like a Feck-tard, you cannot, that's not okay, and just leads to more unfavorable scenarios for you. So instead punch a pillow, or invest in some hand wraps and gloves and take it out on a punching bag. This also will help with any anger and if you have skin issues this will help clear those up.

* Buy a Rose Quartz/Quartzes- The stone of unconditional love of self and others. Put them all around your house. Sleep with one under your pillow, or at your bedside.

*CUT. THE. CORDS!!!!- Read blog on etheric cord-cutting I think its under karmic relationships on my site! CUT AGAIN, CUT, CUT, CUT. THEN...
* White Light- AM and PM, when you wake up, when you pass out. Imagine white light wrapping around you in safety, protection and warmth. People are most vulnerable during stage of grief to lower negative energies!
* Pray! Pray for clarity and understanding on situation or a person, and also pray for eventual releasement and forgiveness. Pray to help you feel better.

* Time. Time is powerful concept. Just know that although the first two weeks or even months in a loss whether it be death or ending of a relationship, the more time that passes, the more processing occurs. Time really is a healer.

* Remember there is Power in the Black- My dog once told me,"Mom, there is power in the black." What she meant was there is power in our lows and our deepest darkest times (she herself was a black lab, funnily enough,let these lows be a launching pad into the light, without the dark we don't have the light.

So if you're human and you're hurting, or feeling lost, just know that all of this will pass, regardless of how bad you feel. There's no prize for healing fastest (although I think if there were to be a jackpot people would have more incentive to do so) so patient with yourself, and more importantly focus on loving yourself with proper sleep, food, contemplation/prayer, sometimes just starting with basics is all we can do at first.

In Love and Light,

Meredith McDonough



For more information on Flower Essences:
POC Elizabeth Piren
Moksha Living 
1050 17th Street NW
Washington D.C. 20006
267-872-0564



Also, Shout-out to Rachel Carr for Spiritual Rationalization!!

What Do a Psychic, a Dentist, And a College Professor all have in common?

 What Do a Psychic, a Dentist, And a College Professor All Have In Common? 

After living my entire life in DC Metro Area I've come to observe that the primary question people ask one another is besides, "What is your name?" is "What do you do?" Apparently, this is actually the question your supposed to avoid talking about on a first date, but Eharmony doesn't understand that no one could ever follow this rule in a major city.

  Now being a psychic-medium and telling people what I do for a living, especially in the DC, always gets a jump-start in the conversation. I now understand that this question once relayed to me, will always gets the conversation flowing, tons of questions are asked, tons of questions and misconceptions are set aside and answered, more wine is poured, stories are shared, people are fascinated, and want readings right then and there, and I'm usually left feeling DRAINED and USED. I understand people are happy and curious,  however I usually feel this way because its often information I would be giving to a client who is actually serious about making an appointment.

 I always say No to giving readings on command, unless I feel that my guides really truly have something to let someone know something. Which is generally Never. My guides know that I want to enjoy my glass of wine and plate of cheese without being "On". I really just don't want to have a deep intellectual conversation on reincarnation while I'm double-fisting beer. My solution now has been to refer people off to books that they can read. Eventually one day it'll be this blog into a book!

So Let me get the clear point across: Psychics are like Dentists and College Professors. Would you approach your dentist and ask him to check for cavities in the middle of party? Probably not. Would you ask your college professor as he is out having coffee with a colleague, if he could quickly check your grade and let you know if you passed last Friday's quiz?  

More than likely NOT. Basically we have ZERO desire to perform "on command" just as a Dentist or Professor. I made it extra large so you cannot miss. NOPE!

I'm here to educate people that psychic readings aren't parlor trick. We're not trick monkeys. We're here to help people heal and we're following are path to make a living doing it! AND  Yes we love to get paid! $$$$ (Ching Ching!) doing what we're put on this earth here to do! 

So just as you would make an appointment with your college professor or dentist, psychics have office hours and prices too, and its time to respect our office hours and prices. 

In Love and Light, 

Meredith McDonough

If you would like to Host Meredith At Your Next Group Gathering (wedding, housewarming, birthday party, whatever event) She is more than happy to do so.
Readings are 30 minutes for $50. Advance Booking Required.
You may contact her directly at operationhighervibrations@gmail.com or 703-835-5473.

Abundance: Let It Flow!

A person recently asked me a very direct question as to every holistic business owner’s greatest emotional trial but also emotional growth to running a business, “How do you not feel bad when you have no business?”

Now, currently I’ve been sick most of this week. I loathe sitting still. I’m a very active person I’m used to running around here and there, and constantly doing things for everyone else. So when I woke up this morning. I thought What Now? All the things I’d normally I would do I can’t because I’m sick. Then it hit me. To address the above question,  the little (not so little nudge) to sit down a type away hit again!

The question made me smile and Think and Remember. It also had me look back on how much my own beliefs have grown and matured just over the course of three years of beginning a spiritual healing practice. 

Old Beliefs Vs. New Beliefs 

Yes, in the beginning, there was in the technical sense ‘no business’ which meant ‘no income’ which translated into very little mula coming in and A LOT of mula going out! This mind-set created fear of the future, angst of when business would be coming in, self-doubt of is this really what I’m supposed to be doing? And the list of fear, negativity, worry, angst, went on and on and on. I even had others tell me, “I would never make enough to live.” And like most people in our society I began to ‘buy’ into this mind-set.  I would struggle daily with what our society says about money and constant “lack mind-set” to my own growing beliefs of abundance and joy and all comes about in Divine Timing, and heck if I really want something I CAN manifest it. It was a continuous daily struggle having to constantly buck the belief system that had been saddled onto me from birth. So I changed my mind-set. I began to say YES to abundance, YES there is business (even if there wasn’t) and if you ever saw a person shouting in their car driving down the highway“ I love money!”- that was probably me!

I’ve got news for you friends. I’m here. I’m alive. The amount of money I get on my tax-return (which is usually ZERO) doesn’t  stop my ability to breath, to wish, to hope, to pray, and sustain faith in what I ultimately believe is my path.

To answer the question simply, I don’t feel bad when I have “no business”.

 I feel elated, I feel I can rest, I feel I can refocus (and even have time to sit down and write this). I get a day off or even a few days off  to reorganize my house, clean, and take a walk in the park. All things that the universe knows that I need to do in order to re-charge and re-boot, simply stop and smell the roses. It’s all part of the natural ebb and flow. Some people are wondering but HOW can you feel this way?

How? I relinquished the need to control the outcome! I can pour thousands of dollars into advertising and google adwords but at the end of the day clients come when they are READY. TRUST in Divine Timing. When it’s time, it’s time.

If my clients come when they are not ready and at my own insistence and my own driving it’s similar to that of forcefully opening a flower that is still blooming. When clients are ready they come.

I know and trust that every client who walks through my door and sits in the chair across from me i that we share some connection in some way. Even if they cancel and reschedule three-four times to finally sit in the chair and as irritating and puzzling as that can be, that too is part of the Divine Timing process. 

Divine Timing- Letting -person, situation, object, unfold and deliver itself to you in its OWN time and OWN way.  Just letting it flow 

I don’t feel bad because in sum, I let it flow. 

Tips from Me to You (Tried and True!)

-          Pray over your bills. Ask your Angels to help you pay them off or intercede in the process of paying them. Do it as many times as you need to in order to feel that you can walk away and enjoy the rest of your day trusting that it will work itself out. I understand it’s not always easy to do this, just practice! You’ll see the outcome soon enough!

-          Calling in the Angels for Customer Service- Make a rather annoying and painstaking task FUN. Ask your angels silently or out loud to put you in touch with the person who can most help you with whatever you’re calling about. Also ask your Angels to assist you in speaking your truth in the best way to help get your point across!

-          Sage your wallet, your check book, your goods- clear all the negativity away from your finances. Re-sage them with love and joy!

-          Bless your payment or give payment with Good intention. Every time you pay a bill, swipe your credit card, or even give payment to someone else or receive payment from someone else, say a silent prayer of THANKS, even if it’s just for 2.5 seconds.

I require my clients to bless their payment, many of them stare at me puzzled, I would rather receive a payment that is being given with love and appreciate than resentment and anger. In the end, it’s all energetic exchange and I certainly would rather have love floating around in my bank account that the other stuff! 

 Let it flow, 

Meredith McDonough MHT, RMT,

Even Healers Need Healing

Many of us have heard the saying, "doctors make the worst patients" although this belief tends to hold true in trend it isn't a balanced approach on how to lead life. More importantly it is a belief that can be easily changed. I cannot stress enough the importance of other energy workers, doctors, nurses, therapist, caretakers, even parents to take care of themselves! 

Being a hands-on healer myself it's easy to talk to my clients about the concept of balance all day, just as a medical doctor can lecture a patient on the importance of eating a balanced diet, exercise, and getting enough rest, the medical doctor and the healer both actually have to do these things too. Primarily because both can and have suffered burnout by not keeping a balance. Whether in food, rest, or time for oneself. As a result they then spend more time recovering from the burnout when they could have prevented in the first place.

For example, it amazes me when I hear how nurses and doctors operate on less than 6 hours of sleep and then get up and assist or perform a surgery. It makes me wonder do I really want this person operating on me who's running on 4 hours of sleep? Will they make a mistake because they are overworked? I know for myself I'd much rather have the doctor who has had a full night's rest! Some could argue that there aren't enough medical staff in our hospital system to allow for that. I disagree.
 Many people say but my job doesn't let me do that! I can't do that! I can't take time off to go the doctor because of x,y, and z reason. I don't have time, my job won't let me!

Myself included and my clients have often told me why they cannot take care of themselves or indulge for themselves
- I don't have time.
- I don't have money.
- I have x amount of children and husband who demands my time and attention.
- My job won't let me do x,y, or z.

I'm here to tell you that a job doesn't own you or your quality of life, and if it is currently, it shouldn't. I used to work at bridal store. Certainly not a job for the faint of heart. I enjoyed some of my time working there with my fellow coworkers, but we worked really hard. We all worked all weekend. It was rare a weekend was taken off by anyone. Our average Saturday was 7-8 hours on our feet with maybe a 15 minute break, if we we're lucky. Weekends were spent working with demanding brides, bridesmaids, and mother-in-laws.  The dresses that we lifted were at least 40lb-50lbs and we we're lifting 4-6 at a time, usually 4x each trip from the racks to the dressing room. We were responsible for getting the customer in and out of the dress, pitching the dress for sale, and hope that we could sell it that day. We were all exhausted from the end of the day and working on $7.50/hour with a low commission. The  commission only came if your bride actually came to pick up her dress. 
(If you are ever considering working in a bridal store invest in a good comfortable pair of shoes). 

Well, one day in the bridal store we had a customer come in and due to lack of training I was not able to help her because I had not been trained by management to perform this particular duty. As a result, the customer became very upset with me, so I went to get my manager to handle the situation.  Although the situation was resolved. The customer stated, "That she didn't know what my problem was and that I had an attitude." The customer continued to verbally slam me going on and on about how awful I was. Now, I'm a pretty peaceful person and I rarely feel the need to whip out the claws. But that day I was not taking anymore of this customer's attitude. So I replied calmly, " Ma'm I've done everything you've asked of me, I even got our manager for you to help resolve the situation. What else is it that you want? What is the real issue here?" The customer was stunned, she continued to look at me wide-eyed. She couldn't believe that I a lowly, bridal consultant would dare call her out on her bullshit.(yes even healers swear!)
My manager dismissed me to the break room, where she later came to tell me that, "I could not speak to customers that way." I understood my manager clearly but I spoke my truth and replied, "I will speak the way that is most in alignment with my dignity as a person,  I have a right to stand up for myself and set boundaries for how others treat me, and if I'm not allowed to do that here, then this is not the proper work environment for me." I put in my two weeks notice a few weeks later. And I left with a sense of freedom. Moral of the story: As a healer you are also a person. Its okay to call people on their bullshit. At some point in time your job can't run the quality of your life. You are allowed to receive dignity and respect in all aspects of your life, despite what your job says. If this resonates with you its time to reclaim your power.

But why? Meredith why does this matter? I'm a healer, parent, doctor, caretaker etc- its my JOB
to give.
I agree yes part of your role here on earth as a human soul is it to give, care, and nurture, but it is also to be balanced as a human soul, which means the soul needs to learn how to  receive, which means taking care of your physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual body by giving it food, rest, or any other self-indulging activity. Overall, it's also your JOB to enjoy and lead a quality of life in this human experience.

The universe is all about balance and if one continues on a path of imbalance they will eventually suffer burnout.  To illustrate, this past summer I worked as a summer camp counselor for a group of 10-15, 9 year old campers. I had a blast! I had a great time with the kids.  I worked M-F 8am-4pm. In addition, I saw clients all day on Sunday and Monday and Tuesday evenings. Monday and Tuesdays were 12 hour days for me. In the background of all this my mother was preparing for her big move to Hawaii, and I was also moving my office and home. As a result, I had some questions and concerns about where I was moving, so I called a good friend of mine who is a psychic for a general reading. The first thing she picked up on was the imbalance in my right hand. (Usually healers have one hand that is the "giving hand" and the other hand is the "receiving hand"). My right hand is my giving hand. Now prior to this reading over the course of a few weeks the energy stopped flowing out of my right hand. I didn't take much notice of it at first because from reading above when would I have had time to tune into myself and feel that I was imbalanced!  As a healer and care provider, I was burnt out. I was in give, give, give mode 24/7. I realized I had to take time back for myself again.

Solution: She suggested I continue to take time for myself and learn how to receive and indulge for myself. And because I had gone so long without taking care of myself it took several Reiki energy sessions with a colleague to get me back in balance. I now make sure to take regular time-outs for myself, or have other healers work on me at least 2x a month. As a healer it was a lesson for me to learn how to receive again. To realize I was worthy of both of giving and receiving.

As a parent, healer, medical professional, or caretaker if you are constantly in give, give, give, mode. Where is the take for you? Where in your life do you receive? What is your simple pleasure? 

When you really want to and realize it, you will make time or save money. You will set boundaries for yourself in regards to your spouse, kids, and even your job. 

For parents, you are a mother or father. NOT a doormat. Don't feel guilty for taking time-outs for yourself. Don't feel guilty for setting boundaries for yourself for your own kids, its part of their learning. Children are wiser than you believe. Allow your child to see you as a person. Although I have no children yet of my own, I remember what its like to be one. Its important for your children to see you as a person, not just as parent. For example, my mother came home from work and she would often say, give me 30 minutes to myself in the bathtub, that's all I need, then I'll come back down and we can talk about your day.Now prior to this my mom would usually come home right away and start making dinner, switching laundry, checking mail, reminding me to feed the dog and do my homework, and when she was doing all this she was usually pretty irritable and begin to lash out. However, when I started seeing my mother as a person, and allowing her to have her 30 minutes in the tub she was pleasant, refreshed, and irritated by little. Needless to say it made family dinners much more enjoyable. I learned to respect my mother's time for herself. And later as a now adult, love that my mother taught me to see her as a person.

Furthermore, I have often had clients ask me in the past why I wasn't open on Saturdays and how much more business I would have if I was. And gently reminded them that I too had a family, a dog, laundry, and friends- basically I have a life! As a healer, especially an energy healer, to be at your best for yourself and your clients you will not be putting in 60-70 hours work weeks, at least not for long. I had to learn to set boundaries with my clients.

To continue our work it so important to receive for yourself and how you choose to receive is completely up to you, but take it. You are worth it.



From my above stories, the world will not crumble if you say NO and start loving yourself.
To all my fellow healers, its okay to receive now. Start today at this very moment.


Meredith

Suggested Reading:

I'm a firm believe that dis-ease generally roots from imbalances in our body, which usually begin as imbalances in beliefs or emotions. Louis L Hay author of You Can Heal Your Life has an entire index of diseases linked to the emotions or thoughts behind them. I highly recommend it as a read.

Seven Healing Chakras by Brenda Davies PhD.  Mini meditations to keep the energy chakras in balance leading to greater peace of mind and calm in daily life.