Healing the Human Heart: The Epidemic of Spiritual Rationalizing

I once read a blog about a year from a lovely yoga teacher friend of mine. And in it she mentioned the concept of "Spiritual Rationalization"- the idea where there is some karmic learning lesson behind a situation or person, and by discovering this (or psycho-analyzing it till its dead and can't move) you think its supposed to make everything better, or at least make you feel better. But it doesn't make you feel better because you are still human.
You and I are spiritual beings in a HUMAN experience and body. So yes while the "Spirit" side of us understands all of the in/outs of karmic relations, balancing, what we still are is Human Beings who FEEL.
So when we have loss in our lives or struggles we may naturally feel anger, frustration, sadness, or hopeless. We may lash out and say hurtful things, vent on social media, throw things out the door, and maybe even engage in revenge like actions such as steal someones parking spot when we are aware they park there on the regular just to irritate them (Guilty as charged on all accounts)!

I'm here to tell you that FEELING is okay. You are allowed to FEEL what you do. Last time I checked we we're all HUMAN. No matter if you are the hurt one or the hurter, you are entitled to feel sad, and allowed to take the time to be sad!

For example, I was quite recenly in a romantic relationship which I knew was karmic. I 'knew' on a soul level we we're not meant to 'be'. Probably in a past-life we we're husband and wife (which is very common by the way) Intuitivley I knew. After a certain period of time, in my gut, truly I 'knew', he was for Now, but not IT.
 BUT Like any human being I have free-will. And No amount of karmic contracts/lessons can change human free-will. However, human free-will can change karmic lessons/contracts!!  I got exactly what I wanted, this individual, with all their baggage. Baggage that negatively effected me as well as him.

 However, on a human level I soooooo wanted it to "work out". I wanted this to be IT!  I was willing to force it to make it "work"- square peg round hole kind of scenario. I chose to ignore my intuition, my gut feelings, and even my close intuitive family and friends. All signs pointed "OUT" not "IN" for this romantic relationship, but I made a CHOICE... 
ignore my intuition 
make it work 
and what I CHOSE, came with series of events to follow that I felt almost broke my heart in two. (But I am and always will be a McDonough Woman, and we're very good at survival and don't enjoy jonesing around with time-wasters).

 Now naturally I also think- I can only blame myself. I chose to take a risk and make a choice.
I was angry at myself for not trusting what I already 'knew'. However, my human self felt hurt, angry, frustrated and questioning, despite all the psycho-analzying karmic-angelic signs of the universe hooplah, I need to let my human self be human!



                          So I'm letting people know you're allowed to feel angry and hurt. 
                                                     You're allowed to be human.

                                        Coping Tips For Humans & Earthworkers

*Write A Letter to the person, or even pet who is gone. Write a letter of appreciation, anger, or even sadness. Just put it all on paper.In the meantime,store them in a private place where you can read them, or write another.  Sometimes it can be years before you're ready to do this, maybe just days. One day when you're ready to release just gently burn them (in a safe way! not crazy pyromaniac way) and either forgive, or let go, to open yourself to a new chapter.

* Clean-Up Your Social Media- Yes clean it up. Delete it if you have to. Keep your power to yourself, you'll hear faster listening to your own heart's healing vibration. Keep it positive, put a pretty picture of yourself, a rainbow, something other than you flicking off the world (because although that may be how you feel, its just not *sigh* not nice, tried and true!) My good friend called me out on this and to paraphrase, "Meredith, stop being a b*tch and take your post(s) down." Dammit friend you're right. (On 11/13/14 Meredith McD. admitted to being wrong about something. Take note.smile).

* Flower Essences- Flower Essences of Missiones from Argentina are an excellent supplement to help you work through emotionally difficult times. Bach flower remedies are also recommended. I myself have used them for anxiety as well as processing Grief and have seen a night/day difference.

* Rediscover Your True Self- Often times we get caught up in being a caregiver or romantic partner we stop doing the things that bring us Joy. Rediscover what you love! Whether that be walking, hiking, working out, cooking special dishes, coffee with friends, stalking cats in your neighborhood, fostering a pet, coloring, or playing in dirt- REDISCOVER YOU. THIS IS THE FUNNEST PART!!!

*Listen/Read to Inspirational Radio- hearing the same love songs over and over again may trigger unwanted feelings. Pop a cd of your favorite book, or inspirational speakers like Jack Canfield or Dr. Wayne Dwyer, or The Secret.

* Vocalize in the Car- Many people feel uncomfortable doing this, but it works really well! I call it primal scream therapy in the car, I wouldn't suggest doing in in rush hour. Or you can just talk out stuff to yourself in the car, yes you are talking to yourself, but it keeps your throat chakra squeeky clean!! Water suggested for this one.

*Have An Album For Your Emotions- Music is wonderful way to help us feel. Sometimes in the initial shock of something you may not really know what to feel, you just know you feel like shit.  You can compile a list of angry songs, sad songs, loss songs, just songs and spend an hour or less, letting those songs evoke emotions. It actually helps bring out emotions and process them more thoroughly. Not recommended while drinking. And if you're going to cry heavily, stay home, or some other safe-place. One day you'll look back on these song sand laugh (trust me you will!)

*Sage, Sage and Sage again- you can read my blog about clearing residual energies from a few months back to learn more about Saging.

* Punch a Pillow- As much as you may want to physically assault this person for acting like a Feck-tard, you cannot, that's not okay, and just leads to more unfavorable scenarios for you. So instead punch a pillow, or invest in some hand wraps and gloves and take it out on a punching bag. This also will help with any anger and if you have skin issues this will help clear those up.

* Buy a Rose Quartz/Quartzes- The stone of unconditional love of self and others. Put them all around your house. Sleep with one under your pillow, or at your bedside.

*CUT. THE. CORDS!!!!- Read blog on etheric cord-cutting I think its under karmic relationships on my site! CUT AGAIN, CUT, CUT, CUT. THEN...
* White Light- AM and PM, when you wake up, when you pass out. Imagine white light wrapping around you in safety, protection and warmth. People are most vulnerable during stage of grief to lower negative energies!
* Pray! Pray for clarity and understanding on situation or a person, and also pray for eventual releasement and forgiveness. Pray to help you feel better.

* Time. Time is powerful concept. Just know that although the first two weeks or even months in a loss whether it be death or ending of a relationship, the more time that passes, the more processing occurs. Time really is a healer.

* Remember there is Power in the Black- My dog once told me,"Mom, there is power in the black." What she meant was there is power in our lows and our deepest darkest times (she herself was a black lab, funnily enough,let these lows be a launching pad into the light, without the dark we don't have the light.

So if you're human and you're hurting, or feeling lost, just know that all of this will pass, regardless of how bad you feel. There's no prize for healing fastest (although I think if there were to be a jackpot people would have more incentive to do so) so patient with yourself, and more importantly focus on loving yourself with proper sleep, food, contemplation/prayer, sometimes just starting with basics is all we can do at first.

In Love and Light,

Meredith McDonough



For more information on Flower Essences:
POC Elizabeth Piren
Moksha Living 
1050 17th Street NW
Washington D.C. 20006
267-872-0564



Also, Shout-out to Rachel Carr for Spiritual Rationalization!!