Many of us have heard the saying, "doctors make the worst patients" although this belief tends to hold true in trend it isn't a balanced approach on how to lead life. More importantly it is a belief that can be easily changed. I cannot stress enough the importance of other energy workers, doctors,
nurses, therapist, caretakers, even parents to take care of themselves!
Being a hands-on healer myself it's easy to talk to my clients about the concept of balance all day, just as a medical doctor can lecture a patient on the importance of eating a balanced diet, exercise, and getting enough rest, the medical doctor and the healer both actually have to do these things too. Primarily because both can and have suffered burnout by not keeping a balance. Whether in food, rest, or time for oneself. As a result they then spend more time recovering from the burnout when they could have prevented in the first place.
For example, it amazes me when I hear how nurses and doctors operate on less than 6 hours of sleep and then get up and assist or perform a surgery. It makes me wonder do I really want this person operating on me who's running on 4 hours of sleep? Will they make a mistake because they are overworked? I know for myself I'd much rather have the doctor who has had a full night's rest! Some could argue that there aren't enough medical staff in our hospital system to allow for that. I disagree.
Many people say but my job doesn't let me do that! I can't do that! I can't take time off to go the doctor because of x,y, and z reason. I don't have time, my job won't let me!
Myself included and my clients have often told me why they cannot take care of themselves or indulge for themselves
- I don't have time.
- I don't have money.
- I have x amount of children and husband who demands my time and attention.
- My job won't let me do x,y, or z.
I'm here to tell you that a job doesn't own you or your quality of life, and if it is currently, it shouldn't. I used to work at bridal store. Certainly not a job for the faint of heart. I enjoyed some of my time working there with my fellow coworkers, but we worked really hard. We all worked all weekend. It was rare a weekend was taken off by anyone. Our average Saturday was 7-8 hours on our feet with maybe a 15 minute break, if we we're lucky. Weekends were spent working with demanding brides, bridesmaids, and mother-in-laws. The dresses that we lifted were at least 40lb-50lbs and we we're lifting 4-6 at a time, usually 4x each trip from the racks to the dressing room. We were responsible for getting the customer in and out of the dress, pitching the dress for sale, and hope that we could sell it that day. We were all exhausted from the end of the day and working on $7.50/hour with a low commission. The commission only came if your bride actually came to pick up her dress.
(If you are ever considering working in a bridal store invest in a good comfortable pair of shoes).
Well, one day in the bridal store we had a customer come in and due to lack of training I was not able to help her because I had not been trained by management to perform this particular duty. As a result, the customer became very upset with me, so I went to get my manager to handle the situation. Although the situation was resolved. The customer stated, "That she didn't know what my problem was and that I had an attitude." The customer continued to verbally slam me going on and on about how awful I was. Now, I'm a pretty peaceful person and I rarely feel the need to whip out the claws. But that day I was not taking anymore of this customer's attitude. So I replied calmly, " Ma'm I've done everything you've asked of me, I even got our manager for you to help resolve the situation. What else is it that you want? What is the real issue here?" The customer was stunned, she continued to look at me wide-eyed. She couldn't believe that I a lowly, bridal consultant would dare call her out on her bullshit.(yes even healers swear!)
My manager dismissed me to the break room, where she later came to tell me that, "I could not speak to customers that way." I understood my manager clearly but I spoke my truth and replied, "I will speak the way that is most in alignment with my dignity as a person, I have a right to stand up for myself and set boundaries for how others treat me, and if I'm not allowed to do that here, then this is not the proper work environment for me." I put in my two weeks notice a few weeks later. And I left with a sense of freedom. Moral of the story: As a healer you are also a person. Its okay to call people on their bullshit. At some point in time your job can't run the quality of your life. You are allowed to receive dignity and respect in all aspects of your life, despite what your job says. If this resonates with you its time to reclaim your power.
But why? Meredith why does this matter? I'm a healer, parent, doctor, caretaker etc- its my JOB
to give.
I agree yes part of your role here on earth as a human soul is it to give, care, and nurture, but it is also to be balanced as a human soul, which means the soul needs to learn how to receive, which means taking care of your physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual body by giving it food, rest, or any other self-indulging activity. Overall, it's also your JOB to enjoy and lead a quality of life in this human experience.
The universe is all about balance and if one continues on a path of imbalance they will eventually suffer burnout. To illustrate, this past summer I worked as a summer camp counselor for a group of 10-15, 9 year old campers. I had a blast! I had a great time with the kids. I worked M-F 8am-4pm. In addition, I saw clients all day on Sunday and Monday and Tuesday evenings. Monday and Tuesdays were 12 hour days for me. In the background of all this my mother was preparing for her big move to Hawaii, and I was also moving my office and home. As a result, I had some questions and concerns about where I was moving, so I called a good friend of mine who is a psychic for a general reading. The first thing she picked up on was the imbalance in my right hand. (Usually healers have one hand that is the "giving hand" and the other hand is the "receiving hand"). My right hand is my giving hand. Now prior to this reading over the course of a few weeks the energy stopped flowing out of my right hand. I didn't take much notice of it at first because from reading above when would I have had time to tune into myself and feel that I was imbalanced! As a healer and care provider, I was burnt out. I was in give, give, give mode 24/7. I realized I had to take time back for myself again.
Solution: She suggested I continue to take time for myself and learn how to receive and indulge for myself. And because I had gone so long without taking care of myself it took several Reiki energy sessions with a colleague to get me back in balance. I now make sure to take regular time-outs for myself, or have other healers work on me at least 2x a month. As a healer it was a lesson for me to learn how to receive again. To realize I was worthy of both of giving and receiving.
As a parent, healer, medical professional, or caretaker if you are constantly in give, give, give, mode. Where is the take for you? Where in your life do you receive? What is your simple pleasure?
When you really want to and realize it, you will make time or save money. You will set boundaries for yourself in regards to your spouse, kids, and even your job.
For parents, you are a mother or father. NOT a doormat. Don't feel guilty for taking time-outs for yourself. Don't feel guilty for setting boundaries for yourself for your own kids, its part of their learning. Children are wiser than you believe. Allow your child to see you as a person. Although I have no children yet of my own, I remember what its like to be one. Its important for your children to see you as a person, not just as parent. For example, my mother came home from work and she would often say, give me 30 minutes to myself in the bathtub, that's all I need, then I'll come back down and we can talk about your day.Now prior to this my mom would usually come home right away and start making dinner, switching laundry, checking mail, reminding me to feed the dog and do my homework, and when she was doing all this she was usually pretty irritable and begin to lash out. However, when I started seeing my mother as a person, and allowing her to have her 30 minutes in the tub she was pleasant, refreshed, and irritated by little. Needless to say it made family dinners much more enjoyable. I learned to respect my mother's time for herself. And later as a now adult, love that my mother taught me to see her as a person.
Furthermore, I have often had clients ask me in the past why I wasn't open on Saturdays and how much more business I would have if I was. And gently reminded them that I too had a family, a dog, laundry, and friends- basically I have a life! As a healer, especially an energy healer, to be at your best for yourself and your clients you will not be putting in 60-70 hours work weeks, at least not for long. I had to learn to set boundaries with my clients.
To continue our work it so important to receive for yourself and how you choose to receive is completely up to you, but take it. You are worth it.
From my above stories, the world will not crumble if you say NO and start loving yourself.
To all my fellow healers, its okay to receive now. Start today at this very moment.
Meredith
Suggested Reading:
I'm a firm believe that dis-ease generally roots from imbalances in our
body, which usually begin as imbalances in beliefs or emotions. Louis L
Hay author of You Can Heal Your Life has an entire index of diseases linked to the emotions or thoughts behind them. I highly recommend it as a read.
Seven Healing Chakras by Brenda Davies PhD. Mini meditations to keep the energy chakras in balance leading to greater peace of mind and calm in daily life.
